To rest my body on feathery quilts
To cease my beating heart
To journey into the unknown, a dreamy beauty
To rest awhile from the maddening world
To realize insanity
To rest my heart from an emotional marathon
To cease awhile from loving in vain
To journey with him who loves me in dreams
To realize beauty
To dream reality
To be what I am, until tomorrow’s morning comes
To love and love again
To dream dreams
To realize reality
To be restful
To be at peace
I look at the world as I would a child —
hopeful, dreaming, ambitious.
I draw strength from a hidden fire —
I continue to dream fairytales,
I pursue a world which does not exist —
a dream world.
I pretend to be strong,
to be invinscible —
I pretend but I am not.
And I am almost successful in all,
until I remember me,
until I feel,
until I ache.
Then I fall apart,
and be born once again.
This is the poem that is closest to my heart. I wrote this way back in high school. I entered it in a love poetry contest for a teen magazine then, and it actually won and got me a big bottle of signature perfume because of that. But beyond that, I really just love this poem. Perhaps the best I’ve ever written of all.
I wish that I could see your face
Could see your face before dusk falls
Before dusk falls, and all is black
When all is black, you light me up
You light me up in all your ways
In all your ways you help me see
You help me see what’s good and true
What’s good and true you give to me
You give to me all that is yours
All that is yours you share with me
You share with me all that I wish
All that I wish is see your face…
Lately I have been rediscovering the inner poet that is in me. Was able to “naturally” write four decent (or perhaps good or great?) poems in the past few months, the first of which was written back in May while I was aboard a plane. It has been slowly coming back, maybe?
Then, there are the poems I wrote from long ago. I had setup a blog with some of my poetry so many years back, and I almost already forgot about it. I rediscovered it too, read through it, copied and archived everything. I deleted the blog from the virtual world in the meantime, while I’m trying to figure out what to do with those poems. They mostly dated from late 2005 to 2007, with two more posted in 2009 and 2010. Even before 2005, I remember having a lot of poems written in scratch papers and spring notebooks from way back in high school. Those are probably still hidden in my chest, just lying around somewhere there, gathering dust, being almost forgotten. I might post a few of the old poems when I feel like it, in the next few months.
I’ve noticed that my poems across time revolve around very similar topics – love, longing, or grief. Perhaps those are the most powerful emotions that I encounter that really squeeze the poetry out of me.
I wonder what good these poems will be, beyond their lonely existence on paper, in my files, or online. I wonder if anyone really appreciates them, or will ever remember them. I highly doubt that I will be remembered or recognized because of my poetry. I am also playing with the idea of finding a way to publish them, but I wonder who still buys poetry books aside from myself (and yes, I have a few books of poetry by some writers and some collections).
Nonetheless, I shall continue writing those rhymes and non-rhymes as long as the pen calls and the heart desires.
Enclosing the twilight
But passion ablaze
And it calls out to you, my love
I am consumed
Engulfs the bloodshot skies
Shall not keep
And by morn
Eternity shall emerge to find me
Sometimes I get to write poetry in my native language, Filipino/Tagalog. Will try to translate this one next time in english.
At bumuhos ka
Sa tigang na lupa
Ng puso kong uhaw
Ng mga yapos mo’t yakap
Na matagal nang ‘di nadama
At kagyat nang malimutan
Bakit kay tagal iniwan?
Tikatik mo’y inaasam
At sana’y muling matikman
Magbalik kang muli
At buhayin ang damdaming
I did not plan or intend to have one after the other… it just happened. Seems like my poetry muses came home with me and stayed a bit longer. I also encountered an inspiration that gave that motivation to write. There are words we wish we could say directly, thoughts we wish we could convey, but sometimes we can only muster to do so through songs or poetry…
Could it be,
that you and I are one and the same
before the beginning of time?
Or are you just a shooting star passing by my system,
a beautiful tangent of our lives meeting at least once,
but perhaps never to meet again?
Should it matter now?
All I know is that you’ve made my heart smile
and skip a bit even for just a short while.
And though I can wish so hard that our universe unite,
my wish will only dissolve
as a soft whisper into the vastness of space…
Yet forever frozen in memory,
that shared time and being,
you and I.