A letter to my future husband (I haven’t found you yet…)

Dear future husband,

Maybe you’re wondering where in the world I am right now. Cos I am also thinking, where are you? I still don’t know where I will find you, or who you are from the billions of people in this world.

I’m in Sydney now, been here two years. And I’m still looking for you, hoping that maybe you are somewhere near or around. Maybe I’ve already passed you on the street or have been on the same train. Have I met you yet? Or will I be meeting you soon? I have no idea.

This year has been a challenging year so far, searching for you. I have mistakenly thought that the first guy I met this year was you. I was ready to give it my all, but alas it still was not you. I was sad and disappointed, and even a bit depressed when it did not work out. But I still kept on searching and kept on looking. I am still searching and looking. Rejection after rejection I soldier on. It’s absolutely tiring and somewhat heart-wrenching, cos I do give a little bit of myself everytime I try. I am almost ready to give up, but then I remember you. Against all odds, I have to find you.

Know that every time I meet someone new, every time I get to know someone, I can only hope that inch by inch it would bring me closer to you.

Looking forward to a beautiful life with you in the future.

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An open letter to my 15 year-old self

Dear 15 year-old Abby,

Congratulations! I would like to tell you that you will reach your 30th year, and shall live furthermore. I am your future self, and if only I had a “return” time-capsule to actually send this letter back in time to you, I would.

You wouldn’t believe how much will change 15 years after. Looking back, I just can’t imagine how different I am right now from who you are (or were). I won’t even attempt to tell you everything right now, and I would rather tell you this: live each and every day and moment of your life in its fullest, no matter how happy or sad, through all failures and success. You will commit a lot of mistakes – a few big ones and numerous minor ones – but never regret that you did. Those mistakes are a part of how and why you become who you’ll be.

You will be blessed to meet so many brilliant people in this world. Not to say that there are also rotten ones along the way, but it’s best to look at them from a perspective – they almost always have a reason from their present or their past why they act a certain way. Be understanding, mindful, and tolerant, most of all.

The best people to have in your life are the people who will be brutally frank and tell you what is wrong with you because they want you to realize that you have the capacity to be even better than who you currently are. However, the worst people are the ones who tell you (and others) what’s wrong with you, just so they can be a little less sorry for themselves with their own lives. It is truly challenging to find people to trust, but those really worthy of your trust are people to treasure and keep. The people who will stay in your life will stay. The ones who will go will go. And some of your closest friends will be thousands of miles from you but will love you just the same.

Don’t worry about the future. I’m here right now, and it doesn’t look too bad. I won’t tell you what you’ll become because it’s up to you to find out. Of course, not all that you wanted or you planned will be fulfilled, but that’s no big issue. Things fall in to place in their own time and space. 

Life shall go on and on both for you and for me, just never ever give up on it.

I wonder now, though, what my 45 year-old self and my 60 year-old self would be writing and sending back to me :p

Love,

30 year-old Abii

p.s. Indeed, I changed the spelling of the nickname I use somewhere along the way 🙂