An open letter to my 15 year-old self

Dear 15 year-old Abby,

Congratulations! I would like to tell you that you will reach your 30th year, and shall live furthermore. I am your future self, and if only I had a “return” time-capsule to actually send this letter back in time to you, I would.

You wouldn’t believe how much will change 15 years after. Looking back, I just can’t imagine how different I am right now from who you are (or were). I won’t even attempt to tell you everything right now, and I would rather tell you this: live each and every day and moment of your life in its fullest, no matter how happy or sad, through all failures and success. You will commit a lot of mistakes – a few big ones and numerous minor ones – but never regret that you did. Those mistakes are a part of how and why you become who you’ll be.

You will be blessed to meet so many brilliant people in this world. Not to say that there are also rotten ones along the way, but it’s best to look at them from a perspective – they almost always have a reason from their present or their past why they act a certain way. Be understanding, mindful, and tolerant, most of all.

The best people to have in your life are the people who will be brutally frank and tell you what is wrong with you because they want you to realize that you have the capacity to be even better than who you currently are. However, the worst people are the ones who tell you (and others) what’s wrong with you, just so they can be a little less sorry for themselves with their own lives. It is truly challenging to find people to trust, but those really worthy of your trust are people to treasure and keep. The people who will stay in your life will stay. The ones who will go will go. And some of your closest friends will be thousands of miles from you but will love you just the same.

Don’t worry about the future. I’m here right now, and it doesn’t look too bad. I won’t tell you what you’ll become because it’s up to you to find out. Of course, not all that you wanted or you planned will be fulfilled, but that’s no big issue. Things fall in to place in their own time and space. 

Life shall go on and on both for you and for me, just never ever give up on it.

I wonder now, though, what my 45 year-old self and my 60 year-old self would be writing and sending back to me :p

Love,

30 year-old Abii

p.s. Indeed, I changed the spelling of the nickname I use somewhere along the way 🙂

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Friday Madness – A letter to my future husband part-2

Perhaps it’s a good time to post part-2 of my “letter to my future husband” series. This was written way back in December 3, 2011, almost 2 years ago. And Christmas will be coming soon too. Still, I don’t know where he is yet, or where to find him. And yet, I just stay steadfast in hoping that he’s just out there somewhere. I’ll meet him someday soon.


To my future husband,

I’m taking a bus ride home. Yes, I’ve been riding the public transport lately because my car have yet to be fixed, but don’t worry about me, I’m ok taking the bus alone, as long as I take it at a good time.

December has just started. Each day brings us nearer that longed-after day of the year. And yes, save for one Christmas four years ago, all Christmases in my history were happy days. And I can’t help imagine how wonderful to get to that Christmas that will finally bring you to me.

It would be such a wonderful day, that first Christmas that I would be spending with you. I replay it again and again in my head, that Christmas waltz being sung by She and Him. I dance across that small living room with you, my love. Just dancing cheek to cheek with you, my right hand in your warm left hand, and your right hand firm at the base of my spine. You ask me to forgive you for not being a great dancer, and I answer that you’re doing just fine. A smile. A mild laugh. A giggle. I love simple moments like these.

But you won’t be around this Christmas. I do not know who you are yet. You haven’t found me yet. Or have you found me already but not realize it? I would never know. But don’t worry about me, it will still be a happy, merry Christmas. The entire family will be here, and good friends are near. I’ll be able to prepare my favorite Christmas goodies, decorate the house, and wrap the Christmas presents. We’re finishing our museum this December too. So many blessings.

Each Christmas brings both joy and longing as I wait for that someday I’ll be spending Christmas with you. God’s gift, I hope to see you soonest, ok?

A different kind of throwback thursday – A letter to my future husband

Because the past may be about the future that isn’t in the present yet…


September 7, 2011

Dear love of my life,

I am having breakfast and coffee by my own right now, and I just thought of writing you a letter. How very much I wish you were here with me because I know any morning started with you will just be a wonderful day no matter what. I know you can’t be here now. Not yet.

It would’ve been nice to tell you that I had a nice drive to work today, or maybe even how wonderful the ride was with you driving. I would’ve wanted to tell you about my plans for the day. Imagine all the funny, absurd, geeky, serious, and all other things we could talk about. Imagine how we couldn’t run out of things to talk about. I sweep off all the strawberry syrup and whipped cream I could with my waffle slices, and you don’t mind. We finish our waffles and coffee, and you tell me I could beat Starbucks belgian waffles and coffee anytime. I promise you I’ll cook for you tomorrow, and any other day you would crave for them. We know it’s time to part for the meantime, you walk me to my office and kiss me goodbye. I tell you how much I look forward to see you at the end of the day.

It would’ve been wonderful to spend the morning with you, but I understand why you can’t be here now. You probably are somewhere driving to work alone and just having brewed coffee from the office pantry. You don’t know me yet. You still haven’t found me. I don’t know who you are yet. You could be anywhere.

But don’t mind me yet. I am happily having breakfast by my own at a corner starbucks near the office. Happy, because I know how blessed I already am, even on my own. Happy thinking of a wonderful morning in the future spent with you.

I’m done with my waffles already, but will probably walk back to the office with a half-full cup of latte. I look forward to seeing you when the time comes. 🙂

To my future husband (letter no. 3)

Hi, it’s valentines, and yes, I am thinking of you. I still have the same questions in my head, like, why are you not here yet? Where in the world are you, and how the hell will I find you? How will I know if I’ve already found you? Same questions for the longest time, still unanswered. But I do not grow worrisome about these, and I keep steadfast while I wait. I continue to wait for the right time, the right place, the right person, and the right reasons. Nothing else I can do now, right?

But guess what? I heard our song playing earlier, on my way home. “I just haven’t met you yet”, the one sung by Michael Buble, you know that, right? Maybe you were also listening to it to, somewhere out there in the vast world. Or maybe not. Just the same, I believe the song. And I believe that eventually I’ll find you. I know that each step I take is a step that will bring me a little bit closer to you. I know that you’re trying to find me too, so I hope you don’t get tired of looking for me. I am here. I exist.

Until then, I’ll just keep busy with the things I do, enjoy the things I have, and wishfully wait for you. And maybe write a few more letters to you while I wait.

Sending you my love across time and space.