50 First Dates – 2017 Edition

Okay, maybe it wasn’t 50, more of something between 20 to 30… I’ve lost count.

It was a big leap for me when I decided to go out and date again in 2017. And when I decided, I really went all out. The dating scene here in Oz was completely new to me and I haven’t really actively put myself out there in the past years. There was so much for me to learn and discover.

I don’t include speed dates in the count. Five minute dates do not really count. Nor does chatting. I’m talking about the good old “lets meet up for coffee or dinner and get to know each other” dates.

Maybe you’re asking where I find all these guys? Online. But not Tinder though. I have two online dating accounts, and I’ve found them as a good way to start.

Like someone. Say hello. Do a little small talk. If they seem decent, agree to meet up for coffee or brunch or something. Some plans push through, but some don’t. Some first dates turn into second dates, or maybe more.

The first guy I met for the year turned out to be one of the biggest learning experience for me. He was an amazing man, and at the start he also seemed keen. I thought we were a good match. Apparently he didn’t think so. Eventually things had to end and left me reeling from the rejection. I felt horrible. I absolutely dreaded rejection. I mourned a little bit (or maybe a lot). Then moved on.

I think the moving on is the most important part. I value the realisation that rejections will not kill you. So, every time something does not work out, I just get back out there and meet new people again.

Five. That’s the count of who I spent a little bit more time on. And a few more that went past the first date. Sometimes I wonder why I wasted my time on some of them.

Three. I can confidently say that three of them really made a big difference in my life. I wouldn’t trade the experience with them for anything, even if each of them left a little bit (or a lot) of heartache in the end.

Many times I’ve told myself, “this will be the last one for the year”, but I always eat my words. I wanted to stop way back in August and take a break from dating for the rest of the year and just let my heart rest, but I always ended up meeting someone new.

I am so thankful to good friends who have put up with me through the countless calls and messages, especially during times I was nursing a broken heart. I absolutely owe you a lot for calming me down during my anxious calls and crying fits. The words of advice are very valuable too. I really hope you don’t get tired of me.

The year 2017 is over. It’s year 2018 now. I’m shifting priorities this year. I’m still leaving myself open to possibilities, to meeting new people with the hope that I’ll eventually find the one I’m looking for (and who is looking for me). Perhaps I just don’t want to give it as much effort as I did in 2017. I’ll just let things happen.

I still wish though that maybe I’ll meet someone in real life, someone who does not come from an online app. Maybe this year?

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Pardon my tongue

The first time I ever travelled abroad, I was 17 and went to see relatives in the US and Canada and spent almost a month there. When I came back home, they said I sounded like I picked up a bit of an accent, but it went away soon after.

The same thing happened during my trip when I was 21. I spent 5 weeks in Canada, came home with a little bit of a Canadian tongue that also faded as soon as I came back home.

This time, it’s the first time ever that I lived aborad for a long time. When I arrived, I wondered if I would ever pick up their local accent. But I am much older now, at 31, and I seem to have frozen my tongue. After 10 long months of being here, I still sound like myself. So many strangers have correctly guessed that I am Filipino just based on my accent. Those not familiar with it mistake me for an American though. Perhaps I won’t be picking up accents as much as when I was younger.

Probably there are several factors.

  • I spend lots of time with Filipino friends and relatives who speak straight Tagalog.
  • I live in Sydney, and it is a very diverse mix of people from different backgrounds, everyone speaking their own way.
  • Even at work, everyone comes from a different background and speaks a different way.
  • Maybe I’m too old to be picking up accents that easily. 

The true test is when I come back for a visit. I wonder if I’ll sound any different. 

Out of the cave, into the light

I may have mentioned it so many times before – I was eaten alive by my work last year, and only recently did it spit me out. Oh yes, I almost had no personal time for months just to make sure that the museum actually happens. But now, after giving birth to a 12,000 square meter baby, I finally have time for myself again.

I am out into the light again. But what do i do now?

First answer: travel, travel, travel. This summer is probably the first in many years that I am able to soak up some sun and feel sand and sea at my feet a number of times for the entire season. I’m loving the tan I’m slowly developing. Aside from that, I’m also planning to explore more of the world later this year. There’s one scheduled trip with the entire family, and another trip that I intend to take just by myself.

Second on my list: back to learning. I have accumulated a number of books and modules that I am slowly returning to. I’m back to self-studying on different topics that interest me. I’ve started with it slowly and taking it in bit by bit. I want to get into the habit of feeding my mind something valuable every single day.

Third: getting physical. I must admit that it is partly my fault why I have had a falling out with my exercise habit. But I am having some physical difficulties too, which hinders me from exerting much effort with sports or exercise. I am now trying to solve that and also slowly trying to get mor physically active. I want to live healthy.

Also, I now have time to plan the next big things that I want in my life. One should never settle with what one has in the present, and should always aim for something bigger and better in the future.