Don’t Look Back

The things you’re working on now are all looking into the bright future that is almost within your midst. Do not look back.

You hear a certain call from your past. You are reminded of your past, and it oozes the last remaining drops from that which filled you once. You are called to another chance to revisit it, it’s just a glance anyway. Don’t fall prey. Do not look back.

What is the point in spending time and effort to revisit the past? Just leave everything to memory. There is no need to catch up. There is no need to even ask how one is doing lately, or what had really happened before. There are good reasons why those things remain in the past, and there is no need to unearth these reasons. Leave them be, forget them. Do not look back.

There is no point to look back on something that has no future. Keep your eyes on the future, it’s about to unfold. And when you find it, everything else in the past will finally make sense.

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Loopy

I find it quite strange and amazing to realise that I was also in Cebu during the exact same days just two years back. The previous trip was also for work, albeit I’m working for and with an entirely different organisation now. But just the same…

This realisation was thanks to Facebook, which now shows you what you posted on the same day in the years past. So, I saw my mirror selfie with the Cebu shirt on, as well as my close-up shot of the lechon (roast pig).

I also remember not being able to stay at that particular hotel last time. My then-assistant booked me in a different hotel despite the fact that the venue of the activity I was attending was there. But this time around, I was finally able to stay there, after two misses. I got a good rate too, one within my official allocation. And I got a great room, a corner unit with a king bed. Super.

And did I mention the lechon? With all my trips to Cebu, no matter the purpose, I make it a point to bring home lechon, or at least eat some during my stay. But usually it’s really take home lechon for me, and this time is no exception. Five kilos of sumptuous Cebu lechon in the box. Yay.

Aside from lechon, there’s the danggit and pusit (dried salted fish and squid), and some dried mangoes. That’s about it.

No touristy trips this time. There was none the last time too. I’ve been a tourist in Cebu several times before and I’ve seen most of the tourist spots, so no problem. It was mostly just work this time, as with the last one.

Interesting when life loops in on itself every now and then, no matter how simply or profoundly.

Dear Charity

Dear Charity,

Do you remember this? blue day book–>

It’s the blue day book you gave me many years ago. Yes, I still have it, and I found it lately whilst sorting through my stuff. Even many years after, many thanks for it, not just for that tiny booklet, but for the short but sweet message in the end.

Do you still remember that fateful day that we met? It was the first day of our freshman year in college. We were still so young, and so carefree. Don’t you miss being like that, like 17 again, and so enthusiastic and open to the world? I do remember being the first one to approach and talk to you, how lucky was I that we were seatmates during the the first day of freshman orientation. In all honesty, the me you met during that time is the real me, no pretensions.

How I miss being like that, just being very open to everyone around me. So many things have happened since. Many people have judged and treated me wrongly, taken my friendliness out of context. Bit by bit, with every disappointing moment that people have mistaken my friendliness for a desperate call for attention, I withdrew from the world and built my own shell that grew thicker with every passing moment.

Thank you for that little note in that tiny booklet that reminded me of how I used to be. I wish I can become like that again. Perhaps it is possible, since once upon a time I was so happy and enthusiastic about meeting and interacting with new people around me. I wish I can start trusting people again. I wish I can start trusting and entrusting myself to other people again.

I wish you love and happiness always. Know that even though we may have not seen each other a long time, my friendship for you remains in my heart.

Canberra Sights

My dad’s cousin and his family took us on a road trip from Sydney to Canberra on our first week in Australia. It was a 4-hour drive away from Sydney, and we went there just for a day trip.

The first place we visited was the Parliament House. According to http://www.aph.gov.au : “The home of Australia’s Parliament and the meeting place of the nation, Parliament House is located on a 32-hectare site on Capital Hill and is the focal point of Canberra, the capital city of Australia. It was opened on 9 May 1988 by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.” Contrary to the usual impression that the capital city of Australia is one of either Sydney or Melbourne, it’s actually Canberra, which is located in the middle of the two. There is not a lot about Canberra as a city besides being the Capital of Australia, and precisely because the city is really just built geographically in the middle of Sydney and Melbourne to serve as the political centre of the country.

Visitors and tourists are allowed inside the Parliament House, but not before a security check comparable to an airport. A lot of areas inside the Parliament House were available for access to visitors, including the Great Hall, the Parliament House Art Collection, and Senate and House of Representatives Chambers (when there are no ongoing sessions). You can also go up to the green roof-deck of the building, which actually inclines downwards to the first level, serving both as part-roof and part-facade.

Next, we went to the Australian War Memorial Museum. According to http://www.visitcanberra.com.au : “The Australian War Memorial commemorates the sacrifice of Australian men and women who served in war. Visit one of the world’s great museums; an outstanding archive and centre for research into Australia’s wartime history.” It’s a pretty interesting place, but I couldn’t appreciate it in its entirety because I was not familiar with the history of Australia, especially their war history. But it indeed is very remarkable how Australia give so much thought and effort to remembering all their heroes and fallen during the past two world wars.

Lastly, we went to the Floriade festival, Australia’s celebration of the coming of spring. Floriade 2012 was a month-long festival, open from 15 September – 14 October, 2012 at the Commonwealth Park in Canberra. They plant a lot of different colorful flowers in a number of garden beds, in beautiful designs. (http://www.floriadeaustralia.com/)

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Letting go. Sometimes, it’s the most difficult thing to do. Not only of letting go people from our lives, but also of letting go of memories, of mementos, and of ways that we have gotten used to.

I’m not quite sure what really changed in me that I finally got to working on letting go of a number of things in my life. But after 28 years of my life, I finally got to slowly getting rid of my hoarded stuff.

I have such a big thing for stuffed toys all my life. Believe it or not, I had a bunch of them in my room until early last year. I was able to cut it down to four just late last year. But now I intend to just have one left. I’ve sent my two favorite bears and my 21 y.o. cabbage patch doll for cleaning, and have stored them in a sealed bag, saving them until eventually when my kids arrive. Those are the three things I can never throw away, but I’m taking them away from my bedroom now.

I also have two big boxes full of “mementos” – or mostly ancient old letters, documents, notebooks, and what-nots. I’ve been going through them and trying to throw away unimportant ones, and setting aside important ones for proper filing. I have so far thrown away one whole trashbag full of shredded paper, and another plastic bag of unnecessary clutter. Soon I’ll try to throw away much more. I want to retain only the stuff that I may check or read back in the future, important or landmark documents, and things that may be interesting to display by my 50th birthday or at my funeral, whichever comes first. Sorry to say, but seems I’m throwing away much of the random notes and letters from gradeschool and highschool. But special mention to the people who’ve sent me the most sincere, creative, and cute letters ever, my gradeschool friends Franzel, Regina, and Pearlie. Next are my highschool chums Pia, Roma, and Joyce. I may throw away the paper, but never the memories 🙂

I’m also set to clean up my old digital files. Will try to just find the most important ones to keep, and then delete everything else. Will try to use the same criteria that I used to clear out my big boxes.

I am travelling light from now on. It is time to keep light to be able to fly farther. *wink*

“Letters are just pieces of paper. Burn them and what stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish” ~ Watanabe, Norwegian Wood (Haruki Murakami)