Half a year

It’s over. My most recent relationship has ended. I have parted ways from the guy who I’ve shared my life with for more than half of this year.

Perhaps it was bound to happen. I did try my best, but it wasn’t meant to last. I could only do so much. I could only give so much of myself. It started spiralling out of control in the last two months, and somehow there is a sense of relief to be out of it now.

There are so many ways to look at it, and indeed I view it so many different ways. The logical and practical part of me welcomes the change. Somehow I’ve found freedom again. Freedom to enjoy a simple uncomplicated life. Freedom to continue to try to find the true love of my life.

But there is still part of me that is wondering what really went wrong. Part of me is wondering how much of those eight months is real. Part of me wants to hold on to the thought that it was real.

I also wonder if I just wasted eight months of my life. Eight months is not that long, but it’s not short either. Years from now, will I remember this year for that one great mistake?

But then again, it’s only been a bit over half the year over. I still have another half to make this year beautiful. Anything can happen in the next five months. Perhaps the best day of the year (or the best day of my life) is yet to come.

I will survive this, of that I’m sure. I’ve been through worse before. I’m so much tougher now. And I have amazing support from family and friends.

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it. what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” – The Zahir, Paulo Coelho

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