There is an old Filipino saying “wala ka na sa kalendaryo” (you’re no longer on the calendar) typically referring to women (or sometimes men) who are beyond the age 31, which is the highest number you can reach for a calendar month. They usually use this phrase to make you panic if you’re still not married when you reach 31 – “nasa dulo ka na ng kalendaryo, wala ka pang asawa” (you’re already at the end of the calendar but you’re still single). It’s as if when you get beyond the calendar unmarried, you’re doomed.
So, I’m already 31 years old as of a few days ago… and not yet married. I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment. Does that bother me? Not really.
The use of this phrase had become more rare as the years of late, perhaps because most of the people in my generation have started getting married much later than the generations before us. Most of my friends started getting married from age 28 up. Only a very few started families before 25. A lot of my friends right now are still single.
Some older friends and colleagues (belonging to earlier generations) often ask why in this generation most are getting married much later. Maybe it’s because there is the greater desire and need to be financially stable before settling down. Or perhaps it’s because there are so many things to do in the world now besides starting a family. There are so many time- and attention-consuming activities around, like traveling, post-grad education, hobbies, etc. We are more entertained and distracted now with other things, so getting hitched is oftentimes a non-priority.
But that’s not to say we’re not interested in settling down. Personally, it is in my mind and plans for the future, hopefully once I find the right person to spend my life with and raise a family with. However, I am not pressured or panicking even if I’ve already reached the end of the calendar. I’ll let it happen in its own perfect time.