I’m trying to finish quite an interesting personal task/goal. More than a year ago, I started writing in a beatiful notebook my “love history”. The task was to be able to write down all the stories, as I remember them, of the past loves, relationships, almost-relationships, and heartbreaks. The intention is to be able to rediscover my romantic history and uncover any repressed emotions, feelings of abandonment, rejection, and heartaches, with the hopes of finally being able to release them into the universe and be ready with restored faith in love.
I wrote the stories one by one, person by person, those who I have encountered and have changed my views about love and relationships… A lot of almosts, stories of my exes, my first love, etc., but I did exclude non-important ones. There were ten names in my list (mostly just “almosts”) I started off with the shortest stories, the ones I could cover with one to three pages. To be honest, I’ve finished writing the short stories more than a year ago. Somehow, I got stuck writing the last three stories, the more significant ones.
There is a “tiny” fear of what can be uncovered as I write the last three stories. I just finished one tonight, so there’s two more to go, and they’re the ones I dread the most. But I have to keep going and finish everything, face my fear and complete my “love history”. I want to get rid of the hidden/latent/unconscious baggage. I should let it break me just one last time and finally let it go (let it go…).