Don’t settle for an “it’s complicated” relationship. The reason why it’s called “it’s complicated” is simply because it really is complicated. I don’t think anyone deserves that, unless you want to torture yourself. It’s the gray areas that are difficult most of the time, whether it be in relationships, career, or any other aspect in your life.
There may be a thousand different kinds of complicated relationships, but I can’t bring myself to even start enumerating those that I am aware of. I’ve seen them in some of my friends’ and acquaintances’ relationships. I have observed the pain and the frustration that they go through. I have not yet seen anything lasting come out of such. I haven’t been in that situation yet, perhaps because I really prefer to evade such. I’ve been faced with that possibility before but I really forced myself to walk away from it as early as possible.
I don’t mind “undefined” relationships, because those are probably just awaiting the moment of “definition”. It’s difficult when it is defined but is known to be complicated. Why should we settle to be a second choice or a spare tire? Why would we let ourselves fall into relationships that we know will only challenge the very core of our beliefs and our very being? Why should we settle for half-baked commitments?
I don’t stand to judge people who are in complicated relationships. They have their own reasons for choosing (or tolerating) that situation, and they don’t need to defend themselves. All I am saying is, if you have the option and the strength to avoid complicated relationships, please do. This way, you will be doing yourself a favor by saving yourself from all the headache and frustration that you may encounter in such. Be good to yourself.
“You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn’t complicate your life. Somebody who won’t hurt you.”
– Grey’s Anatomy