I stand alone

Devoid of any ill feelings or bitterness, after not being in a committed relationship with another person for the last four years, I have come to a very obvious but strange conclusion – I don’t need a boyfriend.

No ill feelings. No bitterness. I just had to re-iterate that, just in case you didn’t believe me the first time I said it. There was a very interesting situation yesterday that brought me this thought, although I may have been living this thought for the longest time now.

I was driving home last night from work on my usual Global City-to-Commonwealth route via C5. Traffic wasn’t bad yet when we left the office a little after 530pm. By the time I reached the flyover between Pasig and Libis, my car overheated and my engine shut off. Luckily we were already on the downhill and I was able to free-wheel to just in front of Red Ribbon. I attended to my overheated car, put water in the radiator and reserve, and all that shiz. When the engine temperature went back to normal, I pushed onwards to finish my drive home. By that time the traffic was already horrible along Libis. By the time I passed Banapple, my car was already close to overheating again, so I stopped a little bit before Contis to attend to my engine again, before it died on me again. I was able to bring the engine temperature back to normal, but I knew that my radiator was not in a good condition already. I pushed onwards to reach home in the fastest time but without overheating again. It was difficult because heavy traffic was all throughout Katipunan (as if I am still surprised by this), until just before Batasan Road. I was able to reach home with my engine still alive. Talk about stress.

Somehow that situation showed me that I can take care of my self.

I can just imagine some other girl who, in the same situation, would probably need to call her boyfriend to help her out with her broken car. Not me. I was trained by my dad how to change tires. He taught me what to do with an overheated car. He told me what to do just in case my car gets stuck in flood, or even during times that there is a great risk of flooding on the roads. I rely on my dad for advise on cars, and I call him for help in the most dire situations (e.g. stalled car in a mall parking in the pouring rain), but I do know how to find solutions on my own just in case he can’t come sooner.

Beyond car problems, I can pretty much handle my own stuff by my self. I have survived a few years in college without the need for a boyfriend. I have survived a few years working without the need for a boyfriend. I know I am able to drive myself to work and back home even when I have migraine attacks. I commute by myself when the car is not available. I have gone to the gym, gone running, gone swimming, or some other exercise without needing an exercise buddy. I don’t mind spending time alone in a coffee shop for breakfast. I can go shopping alone. I have gone to so many doctors appointments so many times and have heard so many different types of news without needing anyone to accompany me. I know that the best solution to a stressful or depressing situation is a bottle of Coke, a tall glass of iced coffee, a bag of Cheetos, or a bar of dark chocolate.

Well, I said I don’t need one, but I never said I don’t want one. I know I can pretty much take care of myself, but I also like the feeling of being taken care of like a princess. And I like taking care of other people too. But at the very least I know, I am pretty much okay even if I stand alone.

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