Boys will be boys – For fun or for keeps?

Before anything else, I would like to apologize to all the guys that would be reading this, as this is bound to be a very biased article written by a young woman about a particular type of guys. I don’t intend to generalize, but I do hope you know and understand that these guys are not uncommon.

At a party I went to a few days ago, I met this gorgeous young doctor (GYD). I was just dragged into the party by a close friend, and did not know anyone else in the group. So it was a welcome event that this GYD, who just like me was just a friend of someone in the group, started to chat with me. Being the single-and-ready-to-mingle girl that I was, I checked out his hand for any rings. It’s something that a former colleague have trained me to do. GYD had no rings on. Guiltless flirting time.

And yes, he did flirt a lot with me, I did not need to push him to. We had a great time together at the party. Unfortunately, he had to do a Cinderella and left the party early, because he was on duty at the hospital that night and got an emergency call. Bye bye GYD. I didn’t even get to know his full name, only his first name.

I had so much fun with him that night, I had to find out more about him. Two days went by without anything. Fortunately on the third day, I was able to chat with the close friend who brought me to the party, and I was able to get some clues. Being the online sleuth that I am, and thanks to my dear friends Google, Facebook, and Friendster, I was able to find him. The catch: He is married, with two young kids.

Why am I not surprised? This seems like a very familiar scenario. I remember another time from last year when I met a guy while I was on a trip abroad, and he was flirting with me big time. Again thanks to Google and Facebook, I found out he was married right before he changed the setting on his Facebook to hide his status. I never told him what I knew, and he continued flirting. Of course, I did not take him seriously.

Lesson #1: Rings or the absence of them are not a good indication of the availability of a guy.

Friendly flirting from some of my married guy friends are not unwelcome though. But of course, I have to emphasize on the friendly part of it. It’s just usually a playful banter, without intentions. And I do know they are married, they do not hide that fact from me, and they know I would never consider them beyond friendship.

Action plan from GYD : move on.

Then there is another behavior of guys I’ve encountered so many times before, perfectly described in one phrase – “Attention without intention”. Yes, I’ve encountered a lot of them from back in college way up to now. Some of them would ask me out. Some would flirt a lot. And yet there was one thing common with all of them – they were not in it for a relationship but only for the excitement. I used to fall for these types before, but then I learned by experience how they are, and how they need to be dealt with.

Lesson #2: Sometimes boys just wanna have fun

So, if they want to have fun, why not just have fun alongside? No emotions, no commitments, that is probably the best setup with them. Just make sure no one is around to slap you mad because of the attention you give or get from the guys. Remember that even the married guys from Lesson #1 also wanna have fun sometimes, and it may be best to keep away from trouble.

Lesson #3: Just go with the flow

The dating scene is a very tough one, and I haven’t been so lucky with it these past few years. Ergo, I have resolved to just enjoy what I have right now, be entertained with the guys I come across with. I’m taking it one day at a time. I just hope against all odds that I’ll eventually find a SINGLE (UNATTACHED) MAN who just wants to be with me, fun or not, for better or for worse.

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